Being offended seems to be an part of everyday life ever since we could identify the feelings of ridicule and resentment. I believe in not being offended easily, to laugh instead of being upset. The decision to not take offense and to relax has become key for my sanity and much success in my life.
As a teenager, I was bitter, I was negative. I disliked or hated everything, it either sucked or was stupid and I never remember being happy. Being negative also meant I was a very serious and melancholy kid. Apathy was how I felt towards everything. Being apathetic meant that I was never offended, because I didn't care. It was my way of dealing with puberty, parents and family. The constant nagging from my family about my attitude and simple things like cutting my hair only increased my negativity. I spent a lot of time being unhappy. My parents always called it negative and went through great lengths to curb this attitude. I am so grateful for all they did. The idea of forcing me into extracurricular activities was genius. My behavior and attitude of not caring defined who I was at that time. They were inseparable. That is until I decided to believe something different and actually start to care.
Things started to change midway through High School when I was released from sports prison and no longer forced by my parents to be actively involved in anything. I did not take advantage of this time after school, to pursue artistic or creative endeavors (such as learning to play an instrument or making short films). Instead I spent as many hours a day watching television as I did attending school. Except it was television and movies that brought excitement and happiness into my life. Because of this, things begin to change in my mind about people and the situations I was in. Something finally mattered and interested me.
When we start to care about people and things, we run the risk of being offended and upset by any negativity directed towards them. I began to change my apathetic attitude from childhood. This allowed me to care about things and not take offense when others would either attack me, the people or the things I cared about.
In High School this was a blessing. As we know kids as well as adults can be cruel, with their comments, criticisms and jokes. Instead of taking offense to these comments I decided to agree with the people and made it a joke myself. As long as the joke was clever, I would laugh at it. It means a lot to me that I can laugh at myself. I was no longer being negative about everything. I began to think of myself as happy negative person. Today I can view comments about me and things I care about objectively. I now hunger for criticisms as a way to improve myself or at least lighten the mood. No longer taking offense to those things that our society defines as offensive or serious has made me a happier person.
I have learned over time while practicing this belief that there are appropriate situations to take a subject seriously. Most of those times depend on the context and the other people present. For example a religious discussion can be taken seriously when all present also are approaching the subject seriously. In this situation I can only feel free if I know that those present will not take offense to what I say. So everyone present is in agreement that whether religious, political, familial or personal, whatever is said is not intended to offend. In a setting where one might take offense or one is not taking the situation seriously, I choose to lay off anything offensive directed towards the non-serious person. I love one-on-one situations or small groups because it is easier to decipher these sort of feelings.
The greatest blessing I have received from living this belief is the openness it has created in my mind, heart and spirit. I cherish my ability to be able to hear every opinion. We have beliefs to change our character and our lives. Looking back I see the reason for making this decision. I was unhappy, because of the over-analyzing of myself. I was trying to define who I was, what I thought and how I behaved. Luckily I know what I believe.
